Marriage as a social institution has remained evergreen for years. Young couples, whether in love or whether introduced through parents hope to tie the knot once they know they have found the right person.
Marriage can be based upon love or can be purely arranged; the choice is up to the person who wants to marry; whether to marry a known person or unknown person. Obviously, there are pros and cons in every situation. Which is better? Arranged or Love? Let us see…
Advantages of Love Marriage
Love marriage is an union between two individuals who are attracted to each other after having met either at school, college, office, or through common friends or in the neighborhood. They mutually decide to tie the knot that would not permit legally any other person to get involved between them. In other words, they are legally together. Young people are going in for love marriages rather than an arranged one. Why so?
- One has the complete freedom to select his or her life partner. No elder decides.
- Selecting one’s own partner is a sign of maturity.
- One is not marrying a total stranger. One knows the weak and positive points in order to adjust easily in matrimony.
- Marriage is based upon love for each other and although the chances of it breaking down are there, yet the young couple hopes that their togetherness lasts forever.
- Mutual respect for each other is there as they know each other before itself.
- Marriage is not imposed. It is an independent choice.
Disadvantages of Love Marriage
- Familiarity breeds contempt.
- Lack of support from family and relatives.
- At times, it can be financially difficult as the partners have to fend for themselves. There is no elder to bail them out.
- Risk of the marriage breaking off is there as sometimes love wears out or perhaps the couples are “tired” of each other.
- The question is who loves more than the other. Sometimes, one can experience deception also and the marriage can also be merely for convenience.
- One of the partner may get bored with the other person and may seek the company of another person to fill in the vacuum in the relationship, This could be a devastating experience and could lead to depression as one is “let down” by somebody one has truly loved. At times, you may not have your family support in such a situation and may have to depend upon other support systems.
- Financial problems may crop up and due to lack of family support, the relationship between the couples may get strained and result in hate for each other.
Now let us have look at what comprises arranged marriage and whether it is a better option to love marriage.
Advantages of Arranged Marriage
- The selection of the partners is done by the elders and thus the marriage is more stable.
- Family support is there due to which the couple could seek family help in case of crisis.
- Partners are matured individuals who are getting into matrimony after feeling that the choice is right.
- The groom is financially stable and the bride also brings in income for the family in the form of other assets. The couple feels secure financially.
- There is excitement after marriage as the couple gets to know each other after the ceremony is over. There is fun in discovering each other.
- Mutual respect for each other as the marriage is decided upon by elders who bless the newly-wed couple.
- One can marry at a time when one feels that one is now ready to settle down in matrimony. It could be either after one has completed one’s studies or one has secured a proper job.
- There is no question of “familiarity breeding contempt”.
Disadvantages of Arranged Marriage
- One is marrying a totally unknown person.
- The bride may find it difficult to adjust to the life-style of the in-laws.
- Demands in the form of cash and other assets may be made which could strain the relationship between the couple.
- Although most couples adjust, yet, it is possible that one may not like the other partner at all.
- Problem of impotency and other hidden ailments could arise, which may not be disclosed at the time of marriage.
- The marriage could be merely a contractual arrangement, like well-to-do business families do. There may not be any love involved and at times the male partner may have liaison with other women.
- The bride may miss the comfort of her home.
Whatever said done both arranged and love marriages seem to be appealing but the best deal is semi arranged as one gets to know the partner and also gets the approval of the family.
Love Vs. Arranged Marriage Essay
Marriage has been described as one of the oldest and most enduring human institutions however the reasons for marrying have varied extensively from period to period and culture to culture. In many cases marrying was predominantly an economic decision which determined the suitor that the family could find for the daughter. In some cultures a man's wealth was based on the size of his harem or the number of spouses that he maintained while in other cultures a young woman's family was expected to give a substantial dowry to her suitor. Throughout the centuries women have found themselves in a moderately submissive role in courtship, marriage, and their everyday life. Many women were traditionally married to older men chosen by the girl's father or in other cultures some nuptials were organized by older women in the community like a matchmaker whose opinions were seldom challenged by the people involved. In some cultures marriage is such a life-changing decision that many believe must be made by those with more experience rather than to leave the choice of a spouse to the young involved. Some find that a love match as a foundation for marriage is a better route to happiness such as in Western culture. Love, physical relations, and the joys of infatuation are described extensively in the Hebrew Scriptures as the best way for both of the spouses to live a happy and fulfilled life. Love matches in general allow women the freedom to make choices and have more control of their own happiness.
In love matches, women are able to make choices to better their futures. In the past “the practice of marrying for economic reasons” was common because women did not hold jobs, therefore, she needed to marry for stability and make a life for herself. In the twenty-first century women are able “to pursue advanced educations and careers, postponing or avoiding marriage entirely” ("An Opinion on Love Matches”49). With the advancements that women make in their education and careers, they are able to support themselves financially without the need of a male. If she has a successful career with a decent salary, then she can provide herself shelter, food, and other necessities to survive. Being financially stable means that the woman does not need to rely on a man to support her, so if she finds that her husband is verbally or physically abusive, then she can file for a divorce. Her advanced education and career gives the woman the freedom to make the choice to leave the man, or if she is very dedicated to the man she loves, get the man professional help. A love match gives women the liberty to refuse men that they do not like, and allow women to select men who they desire. A woman does not have to settle for a man who does not make her happy or who denies her the pursuit of happiness. She is able to look for a life partner that is attractive to her and understands her strengths and weaknesses, as well as what she needs. Contrary to an arranged marriage, where the family...
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