Joke Gone Wrong Essay Help

I savored a masterfully browned marshmallow, thoroughly enjoying the late-week camping escape with two best friends. Frogs croaked and various nocturnal bugs sang, serenading our campfire evening.

“Do you guys believe in reincarnation?”

I snorted. First, I’m not a guy and neither is Sarah. But that didn’t matter around Tom. We were all just good friends. No hang-ups allowed.

“Seriously,” Tom said.

Looking up from the mesmerizing flicker of the fire, I noticed Tom’s intense expression. The insects and frogs hushed as a chill wind circled our encampment.

“No,” I answered. Beside me, Sarah shivered and shook her head in response.

Tom stood, pacing across from the log that Sarah and I sat, the fire separating us.

“I didn’t either, really,” Tom began, “until I met Elizabeth Brighton, the Medium.” He grinned, then continued. “I scared her so much she ran right off the set of her show.”

Tom stopped pacing, the fire reflecting, making his eyes glow an evil red. “She’d never had such a strong reading and wanted to have me arrested, get this, for future crimes.” He laughed.

“Wait,” I said, remembering a news article from a few days ago. “Lizzy Brighton? That TV hocus-pocus woman? She was murdered the other day.”

Tom stepped closer, almost in the fire. “I couldn’t let my secret out yet. She knew, sensed, too much.”

“Stop!” Sarah screamed, jumping up. “You’re scaring me. This is crazy.”

Tom moved faster than lightening – through the fire? I saw the flash of metal before it registered. Sarah’s renewed screaming stopped abruptly, her throat cut nearly to decapitation. On the ground, Sarah lay still, her dulled eyes not reflecting the fire. Over her body, Tom wielded his knife, violating her horrifically.

Numbed beyond speech, I kicked the hot embers and burning wood at Tom, catching his clothing on fire.

Screeching in anger and pain, Tom turned, lunging at me. I jumped back, tripping over the log where Sarah and I had sat toasting marshmallows. A flaming torch now, Tom stumbled over the log. His eyes no longer reflected the fire – they were fire. As he fell, the knife slashed across my arm, stinging as the flesh parted.

Heedless of the pain, I scampered out of reach – of the knife and the flames. The pop and hiss gagged me but I couldn’t turn away. The stench engulfed me in a way that I knew could never be washed away.

Would anyone else believe that Jackson Thomas Rypken was Jack The Ripper incarnate? I now believed.

Transcript

It seems like an ordinary motorsport event at Britain's former Grand Prix track, Brands Hatch. But all is not as it should be...

(Commentary: "Why is there a Volkswagen Golf on the track?")

As a prank, 22-year-old Jack Cottle drove his girlfriend's car onto the circuit while a race was in progress.

Egged on by a friend, Cottle did one lap before pullingover.

Over two million people have watched it on YouTube.

But it's no laughing matter: the judge sentenced Jack to eight months in prison to deter others.

Vocabulary

prank
a trick that is supposed to be funny

egged on
encouraged

pulling over
a vehicle moving over to the side of the road and stopping

no laughing matter
very serious

to deter
to stop people from doing something by explaining the possible bad results

To do

Use one of the words or phrases below to complete each of these sentences from news reports.

Note that you may have to change the form of a word to complete the sentence correctly.

prank / egged on / pulling over / no laughing matter / to deter

1. A spokeswoman for bus operator PW Jones Coaches said children claimed a lorry involved in the accident did not stop.

"The coach had __________ to stop on a grass verge and it gave way," she said.

2. Not that Candy Crush Saga was perfect from the first iteration. "We had an early theme based around the French Art Deco style," Knutsson explains. That included an over-the-top French voice __________ players when they made good moves.

3. Det Sgt Steve Hall said it was a miracle she was not seriously injured.

He said the stone-throwing "might have seemed like a good laugh at the time but this is __________".

4. In Victoria, tourism and local governments have protected a population of penguins by introducing a pair of Maremma guardian dogs, a breed whose natural territorial behaviour __________ local foxes that had previously devastated the colony.

5. A Gwynedd man who edited a webpage and named himself the founder of Everton Football Club as a childhood __________ has come clean nine years on.

Answers

1. A spokeswoman for bus operator PW Jones Coaches said children claimed a lorry involved in the accident did not stop.

"The coach had pulled over to stop on the grass verge and it gave way," she said.

See story

2. Not that Candy Crush Saga was perfect from the first iteration. "We had an early theme based around the French Art Deco Style, Knutsson explains. That included an over-the-top French voice egging on players when they made good moves.

See story

3. Det Sgt Steve Hall said it was a miracle she was not seriously injured.

He said the stone-throwing "might have seemed like a good laugh at the time but this is no laughing matter".

See story

4. In Victoria, tourism and local governments have protected a population of penguins by introducing a pair of Maremma guardian dogs, a breed whose natural territorial behaviour deters local foxes that had previously devastated the colony.

See story

5. A Gwynedd man who edited a webpage and named himself the founder of Everton Football Club as a childhood prank has come clean nine years on.

See story

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